Rather than begging, playing games, and fighting to prove your worth, focus on moving on and finding the person who wants you for who you are. Far too many people live with an attitude of scarcity — the belief that they will not find something else like that which they just lost. The fear of loss is one of the most potent motivators in human psychology. In dating, it can be a reason why we take rejection so personally. Many of us genuinely operate out of the scarcity mindset, choosing to believe that we will struggle to find somebody else like that person.
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When we employ this mindset, we are obsessed with what that person thinks of us and relinquish control of how we feel through our desire to be accepted and validated by them alone. As of writing, there are 7. There are countless dating apps, events, and opportunities to meet new people.
The Porcupine Effect: When Rejection is an Illusion
You need to develop an abundance mindset — the belief that no matter what happens, there is someone else to meet who is going to be even better than the last. This attitude applies to everything in your life. Rather than worrying about saving pennies, could you consider making more money? Instead of allowing rejection to immobilize you, could you see it as a chance to be free and explore all the possibilities?
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This point may illustrate the obvious, though many people lose sight of the truth — everyone is going to face rejection at one point. What is equally refreshing is to remind ourselves that even the most successful people in the world swallow this bitter pill. Michael Jordan was cut from his high-school basketball team. Harvard Business School rejected Warren Buffet. You can even look at stunning women in celebrity culture such as Jennifer Anniston and Angelina Jolie, who were both the subject of painful breakups. If you are continually experiencing feelings of rejection, then use it as feedback, not a declaration of failure.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. One of the most common issues in men is being friend zoned. This is often attributed to being a nice guy, but in reality, the situation arises from an inability to be honest about your true intentions. You end up in the friend zone when you pretend to want friendship despite secretly desiring something more. Use it as an opportunity to change, not a definition of your character. It is essential to realize that feeling emotional pain and anger during such an experience is an expected part of the healing that you will go through.
More importantly, we must acknowledge those emotions and ensure they are channeled towards something positive — a lesson to learn or opportunity for growth. Allowing disappointment or feelings of unworthiness to consume us is a form of self-sabotage. We should not look externally for our sense of self-validation, esteem, or worth — that is what creates co-dependency and reliance on other people.
Commit this formula to memory:. A common experience after rejection is a feeling of being stuck. But not you.
Now make a plan. Tap into future you once again to start plotting the steps that will get you from where you are to where you want to be. Rejection can be a gift -- if you choose to see it that way. From there, build a clear picture of what you want to create and begin taking steps in that direction.
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The pain we feel from rejection is part of what’s helped humans survive
Melissa Dawn. Guest Writer. March 9, 5 min read. Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own. More from Entrepreneur. Get heaping discounts to books you love delivered straight to your inbox. Sign Up Now. Jumpstart Your Business. Entrepreneur Insider is your all-access pass to the skills, experts, and network you need to get your business off the ground—or take it to the next level. Join Now. Are you paying too much for business insurance? Begin making the necessary changes. Depending on what advice you received, you may have a list of action steps to prepare yourself for the next opportunity.
For example, with or without company tuition assistance , attend the needed classes if that was the deficiency noted in your rejection. Work with your manager to identify ways in which you can gain the experience needed for the promotion or lateral opportunity.
The key is to make and implement your plan. Needed concrete work actions that have little to do with improving your performance can follow a rejection, too. If you discover that your pricing will not beat the competition, work with the appropriate people to change the pricing.ininweagi.ml
Why getting better about being rejected can help you succeed in life
Confront the coworker who took credit for your work and let them know that you will not tolerate it in the future. When you work with this coworker again, take care to monitor the behavior and make certain that your boss is aware of the situation. Don't let repeat behavior from others keep you down. Nobody is closely monitoring your progress and experience. Your coworkers and managers have too much else to do in their own jobs. So, it is important, and in your best interests, that you toot your own horn occasionally. Not obnoxiously, but do let influential coworkers know what you are doing to improve.
Mention the coursework you are undertaking to your boss or to a team leader you admire. Meet with the manager from whom you received the initial rejection to let him or her know your improvement plan.
Experiencing rejection is painful but a potential learning experience, too.
In addition to drawing his or her attention to your efforts, you are signaling that when you ask for advice, you take it. The manager will react positively to your improvement efforts. Just make sure that the sympathy you seek is short term.
Sympathy can't get in the way of you doing the things you need to do to be prepared when the next opportunity comes your way. No one likes a whiner, so whine just a little, and then move on. That next opportunity is waiting just beyond your current field of vision.